In The Eyes of A Sister:
(Click on picture for larger view)
When
the man came to my door the night I was told the rescue mission had changed to recovery
and that my brother was considered dead, I wanted more than anything to argue with this
man, as if debating with him could make him change his mind.
But I let him go on his way with very little said because I knew it
wasn’t his fault. At that moment, I
just wanted to scream and tell everyone who had already let go that they were wrong,
“Don’t they know he is invincible?”
All my life my brother has been my protector. In my eyes, he is a Superman. He was the one who always told me things will
always get better when they seemed at their worst. He was the one that if I was threatened
or hurt by anything or anyone, he would stand between me and whatever it was. He was the one that could always make me
laugh even when I was determined to be upset. He
was my angel. He was my hero. He was my
everything.
I
use to love to look into Juan’s eyes when he didn’t know I was watching. In his eyes, I could see so many things. I could see the kid that loved to watch cartoons
anytime of the day and lived to laugh at anything and everything. And oh, what a laugh it was! In his eyes, I could see the gentle person that
never wanted to hurt a soul and gave everyone their own special attention. I could see the comedian that loved to hear other
people laugh. Juan had a different facial
expression for every season, emotion, thought… everything! It was his signature.
His humor was so unique. I
especially enjoyed the hilarity of putting his face on a picture of someone else’s
body on a card or a gift sent from wherever his adventures had taken him. Elvis is my favorite!
I could even see the loving partner who cherished the sense of humor
and love given by his girlfriend, Stacee. This was a favorite thing of mine because I
always wished him such a love. Finally, I could see the soldier, who was determined to
protect his country and his military brothers from harm.
I asked Juan once when he was gonna be done with this risky business and
come home and sit behind a desk or something so I could stop worrying. And he laughed and said, “ I love you my
sister, but… I don’t think so.” He
just loved being a PJ!
My
favorite All-time moment with Juan:
Somebody
asked me once, where Juan was from; where did he considered home and frankly, I
wasn’t sure how to answer that because Juan had been all over the world in his
lifetime and was currently living in Japan. So
one day as we sat in my living room just hanging out and talking, I asked him, “So
where do you call home?” And he looked at
me very sweetly as if the answer was easy and said, “Home is wherever you are
Jess.”
As
time goes by, I feel more of a sense of peace with the fact that all of this is God’s
will. In His Devine plan, it is time for my
Superman to come home. Juan has touched so
many lives in so many different ways. He loved
so strongly and was loved equally strong by many people!
I am so fortunate to have had the opportunity to know him, to love him
and to be able to call him brother. I am so
blessed. I will forever be so proud of
him as I know all of you will be as well.
I
wanted to write this as a means of thanking all of you for everything you have done and
continue to do for Juan and I. He loved you
all greatly and would want you to remember him fondly (preferably with a big smile on his
face and a laugh in his heart). I want to tell
his fellow PJ and special forces brothers thank you for always watching out for him. You
meant a lot to him and because of that, you will always mean a lot to me.
With
much love and gratitude,
Jessica (Email Jessica by clicking on her name)
Maj Staha & Jessica after family gathering in February 2002 (click on image for larger view)
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